Yay Twilight Was The Best Movie EVAR!! ...not.

Finally had the chance to catch Twilight tonight with my brother and two of his lovely friends, and I am sad to inform that it hardly lives up to the hype.

I went into it knowing that it was adapted from a book catering to the Young Adult section, but the knowledge hardly prepared me for the actual inanity of the dialogue. It was almost as if they expected the actors to keep the movie going with nothing but sheer good looks and molten stares, and that whoever adapted the dialogue (or was it this bad in the book as well?) phoned in the script.

As someone who used to thrive on the Sweet Valley books as a child, I fully expected to be touched, or at the very least, mildly nostalgic when I watched Twilight. It was, after all, textbook formula young adult romance.

But all I felt after watching it was distaste and a vague sense of disappointment. Most ironically was the fact that I was disappointed not in the movie, but in myself for not being able to appreciate it even a little.

It’s a somewhat emo take on the typical dark fairy tale romance, after all, and what self-respecting Sweet Valley/Babysitters Club/Insert-YA-book-of-choice-here reader can’t like that?

Me, apparently. How sad is it that I’ve become so jaded and cynical at the ripe old age of 25? I remember being 17 myself, of course, and I remember what being in love so young was like. It’s a powerful feeling partly because you’re so new at the love thing, and mostly because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.

But whenever Bella spouted lines such as “I want to be with you forever” or “Never leave my side”, I felt like throwing my shoe at the screen and yelling “What about your career? No one can get a BA in LOVE!!”

Edward, on the other hand, all of 108 years old (but with the physical age of 17), was hardly any better. “I’ve waited my whole life for you,” says he, “Vomit,” says I.

Real people don’t talk like that, and if they do, it’s because they’re:

1) Drunk
2) Trying to get laid
3) All of the above

Real love isn’t lyrical, it’s not pretty, and it will *never* be forever.

…

…

…I really need to get a hamster.