A Christmas Fashion Poem by Lizzeh the Poet

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a piece of fashion was found, not even a blouse
The children were sleeping, the parents were sound,
On the far wall stood a chimney, where socks could be found

Inside little Jenny's sock was a stuffed rabbit toy,
Inside little Johnny's sock was a metal pip boy
Under the tree stood mommy's red gift,
All gift-wrapped and bow-tied and inside was a shift
Daddy's box was purple and green,
Inside was a tie that was not fit to be seen

Little Johnny woke first when the clock struck twelve,
So happy, so dapper, into the chimney Santa would delve!
There was a sound, loud and long-- now Jenny got up
OMG, here's Santa! Johnny be quiet, shut up!

They snuck down and found, much to their dismay,
A long-legged woman with hair the color of hay,
With her bright pink lips she smiled and said,
"Your mom's shift sucks and your dad's tie deserves to be dead!"

"Didn't anyone tell you that fashion is for all?
Not just the super rich (like me!) should heed its call!
Purple doesn't go with green unless you played Day of the Tentacle,
And back in the 70s when it was quite a cool spectacle."

"You're young and you're six, you shouldn't be this dumb,
So grab that tie and chuck it out, don't stand there saying "Um..."
This shift for your mom is red and it's out,
Who'd wear that? Not me, not even a lout!"

"Gucci for dad and mum's Prada, without a doubt,
Brands are of course what it's all about!
Never mind the Chinese kids all slaving away,
Sweating in mills and crying all day."

"Christmas is about the commercial approach,
Kids like work, I swear, we don't encroach,
On their lives, civil service, whatever, no one cares!
Shoot the cows for leather, fur from the bears!"

With a flourish she waved her hand, the presents were replaced,
The children gasped--with LV and CK they were suddenly faced
"Haha," she cried, "Now you know the truth, bad fashion you'll cease,
Or else I'll come next year and grab you, for I'm the Fashion Police!"

With a toss of her mane, she blew them a kiss,
With her fashion advice, now no one would diss
"So fierce," she cried, before in her limo she rode away,
And that was how Paris Hilton saved Christmas day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone!

xoxox,
Lizz